When Logos and Eros meet - My first conversation with Walt Bismarck
Meeting in the space between
2 months ago, tomorrow, I posted a Note (as I do) and a very hurt and angry man made a comment on it. I don’t remember it now, and after a couple back and forths which ended in him suggesting I go to a country where white girls get raped, I blocked him. Fortunately for all of us, I can’t go back to get the exact details. This type of man coming at my writing is not new to me. I sometimes feel like a spelunker into the black hole that is the incel wound, bringing my little light and attracting all the hungry (and angry) critters for a period of time before I come back up for air. It can get to be a lot sometimes, and almost always those men grossly misinterpret what I write.
But, it comes with the job.
This time, however, when I asked this man to respond from his personal view rather than a blanket heuristic, a name I’d seen around the Subsphere popped in with a comment sharing an abstract explanation for this man’s misinterpretation. Enter Walt Bismarck. I recognized his name and knew he was a prominent stacker on here but I didn’t really know much about him. To me, his work read like a university essay I was never smart enough to write and I understood (and still do) very few of his cultural references. Anything that is too mental and makes me think too hard to grasp it on first pass doesn’t usually make it through the gate which meant that while I knew he had a following, I didn’t really know him and his work.
I did find out later, that he was somewhat familiar with my notes and they often
evoked a frustration towards women in him. Turns out he misinterpreted one of them a few months prior and had some fun calling it the dumbest advice he’s ever heard. This very much tracks with the magic that is our dynamic.
Anyways, when I asked Walt to clarify, he linked one of his essays, A General Theory for the Gender Wars. I, of course, did not open it, but it did register in my head to check it out later (which is actually incredibly bizarre because the chances of me reading what someone suggests to me are slim to none and even more so when it’s written in sperg speak.) I guess God had other plans. A couple days later, after blocking the original dark demon, I realized I could no longer check the link Walt sent me as the comment was gone too. I was still curious about his article so, I asked him to link it again. I read about half of it, I really felt the brilliance of his mind, but also found it incomplete with regards to the gender conversation. And so I used it to frame the way I discuss gender and energetics:
Then came the invitation to the podcast.
At first, I wondered if he wanted to humiliate me in an intellectual debate that I knew I could never win. I was a little sus. But when I felt into it deeper, I sensed we were on the same team. Not having really any clue what I was getting myself into, I listened to maybe a minute of one of his other pods to learn that he often speaks at 2x speed, and knew I needed to stay really grounded to not get pulled onto his mental roller coaster. I then anchored down into my pussy and womb (iykyk) and hopped on Google Teams for what turned into a fabulous 2 hour and 17 minute conversation - one that was transformative for us both in different ways. Now, I’m not going to speak for Walt, although he and I have had multiple conversations sharing what has been shifting and unfolding for us since then, but for me, a doorway was opened - through the psyche of the sperg and into a greater understanding of what it’s like to be a [certain type of] man in the world these days.
I began to understand, and sympathize more deeply, with why so many men create what feel like these reductive lame ass rules to navigate the world. I began to really feel the deep yearning from men for feminine reception and responsibility even more viscerally. I began to understand the impact women’s behaviour has on men even more clearly. And I began to really see how there’s no way around it - women are at the centre of it all, and sometimes that centre becomes the centre of the hate (not justifying it, but rather seeing the way it has come about.) Some of this was not necessarily “new” to me, but some was, and the rest went from black and white to full blown colour.
Even more importantly though, was that I really got to feel a new level of meeting someone in the space between two worlds - something that I have so reverently been serving in my work and orienting more towards in my own life. It is in fact, the core essence of REUNION, the program I ran in the fall/ winter.
Walt and I do not agree on a lot. I think we have fundamentally different ways of experiencing and understanding the world and yet, I get it.
And it feels like he does too - in fact, he articulates the feminine mystery to the male brain in a way that positions it as not only acceptable, but actually a necessary component to life. He understands the frustration and pain of the socially awkward, literal young man who never had a big brother show him the way, and after creating his own frame to navigate this harsh reality, he illuminates it for others who have no flashlight. And whether or not I agree on the premise or the components of the frame, it’s not really mine to agree on or not. This has been the humbling realization I keep arriving at every time I feel that, “b-b-but!” whine that wants to escape from my mouth. There is something quietly erotic about holding the tension between two truths without one having to be subsumed within the other.
Yesterday I decided to turn our podcast on. I rarely listen to myself in a recording once it’s out in the world, but as I lay there listening, I thought, man this really is fucking good.
We get into some interesting topics for sure and it really feels like both of our perspectives round out some meaningful spots that men and women rub up against. I think there is something for people in listening to us. It was sent out to his subscribers after we recorded and he received some really touching feedback. It is now time for me to share it with you. This may only be well received by a certain kind of person, who knows - we are a unique duo. But man or woman, take a listen and let me know what you think or what you actually feel while you listen.
